Creating to believe
07 November 19
Posted at 2:51
When we expand the limits of our perception with unimaginable experiences we realize our unlimited power.
(Letter to myself or the hidden side of traveling)
When I was a little girl I didn't travel and grew up with the idea that traveling wasn’t for me. Later in life I started to change and began opening myself to the possibility that I could travel to any place I wanted like others do. And after some little trips in Europe, the moment of my first big journey arrived, and I went to the other side of the world, to my dream destination, Hawaii.
During this trip I spent three months in The United States, the land which nourished my visual imagery. Living in person all those places made me experience an inexplicable excitement, which was enhanced by being able to capture them; sunsets at Hawaiian beaches, the Golden Gate, the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree Park, and Route 66, which I drove listening to the soundtrack of Forrest Gump premeditatedly… And experiencing walking the walk of fame in Hollywood Boulevard and realizing that it's not such a big deal, watching a concert in a small venue in Los Angeles besides Devendra Banhart and feeling his vulnerability, having breakfast at a typical american diner where Ezra Koeing was and looking into his eyes without being able to tell him that his music has made me jump with joy, going up skyscrapers and surviving the vertigo and listening to a Blues concert in Chicago with my most beloved friend from childhood… And I remember sitting in the living room table of my house in Hawaii at 6 a.m. writing in my diary how blissful it was being there and I remember that my eyes clouded with tears from taking the journey there and I loved myself for it, a lot.
A year later I took myself on an incredible journey to Thailand which gave inspiration for the next one, and I soon found myself in a little mountain village in north India. This time the journey wasn't as easy as the others because on the way there I experienced fear and anxiety. Fortunately several angels crossed my path and didn’t let me fall. After three airplanes, a taxi with monks, a rickshaw and some minutes walking through rocks and mud and crossing paths with cows I arrived to my new provisional home at the foot of the Himalayas in Dharamshala. And when I took off my backpack and saw myself there, so incredibly far from everything I knew, again my eyes burst into tears and I couldn ́t stop crying. This time I was crying with a feeling of happiness and sadness combined, but with a deep peace. And again, I loved myself, very much.
I also took myself to Australia! When I was a little girl I collected postcards. I remember seeing one from Sydney, and how I was always completely certain that I would ever go there, not even in my dreams, that possibility didn ́t exist in my world. And years later, there I was, traveling by van through the Golden Coast with my life sister photographing the sunrise at Byron Bay, very cold and very grateful.
My intention for my first trip to India was to learn Ayurveda and, for my joy, it was much more than that. In this trip I met my life partner and started traveling accompanied. And that very same year, without planning it, I had the wedding I always dreamt of and I thought I would never have, on the most beautiful beach in Florida. And I had a first honeymoon in Bali, and another in New Orleans. I write it, I read it, and it seems it wasn ́t me. But yes, I took myself to all of these places and more.
Now, when I see my traveling pictures, I think of that little Mariana who felt incapable of traveling and I love her, and I embrace her, and I get tears of love for bringing her to all those places. I only needed to believe it. And to believe it I had to create it, and that made me feel powerful and capable.
I love you Mariana.